Give it back
by hypegurl
Summary: A little story about the battle you fight when you're in love...
1. Chapter 1

AN: hey i was posting this story on a different site but some friends thought i should also post it here so...thats what i'm doing. i hope you guys read and review it, but most of all love it. all spelling and grammer mistakes are my own. i'm nowhere near perfect when it comes to that stuff. anyway feel free to give me feedback. message me or whatever. enjoy and thanks for reading.

Disclaimers: I do not own the characters or non of that good stuff. just had an idea and used the characters to help tell a story.

Chapter 1

"Don't."

My best friend's voice startles me back into reality. I look away from the one person that I allowed to have my attention for far too long. At least that's what my best friend, Erin, tells me. My heart says different.

"I just want to see if everything is okay." I shut my locker and lean against it. My eyes can't help but look down the hall to the body that's staring mindlessly into a locker.

"I talked to her earlier. She's cool." Erin grabs my hand and starts to lead me towards our class. Before I get too far, I look over my shoulder and catch brown eyes on me. I snap my head back to my friend.

"You changed your number?"

"Shit!" I slam my hand against my cheat. "Don't do that."

"Your number?" She rolls her eyes when I fan myself trying to catch my breath. She really did scare me.

"It's been that way for a couple of weeks." I shoulder my book bag and lean against my locker. "You're just noticing?" I mentally slap myself for sounded so wounded at the thought that she doesn't really care.

"I thought you were just ignoring my text. Last night I called and…Spencer?" She grabs my arm when I try to walk past.

"Erin's waiting," I step away from her and she releases my arm. "You have a minute. Go."

"Can I have your new number?"

"You are the reason why I changed my number at all…" I roll my eyes to really get my point across. She doesn't say anything just stares at me. "You're wasting your minute."

"I don't know what to say." She sighs and shakes her head. "You said you wanted space and I've ba…"

"Ash…" She pauses when I say her name. "Don't. You know I don't really want space. I want you to get better."

"It's not that easy Spencer." She frowns when she says this.

"Minutes up." I don't even bother to look back when I practically run outside and to the car.

"Davies, remove the hood." Mr. Potter my second period History teacher repeats for the second time.

"Oh shit." I hear some guy say. I look over and Ashley has a red line across her face. Looks like someone took a wire across her face.

"Happy." She mumbles in slouches down into her seat.

"Would you like to go to the nurse's office? Principle?" I wish she would but like always she says no and Mr. Potter moves on.

Throughout the class I couldn't keep my eyes from straying over to Ashley. This is the first time she has ever came to school with a visible injury.

After class I quickly pack my things and hopes to catching up with Ashley before I have to be in my next class.

"What's the rush?" Erin laughs when I bump into her trying to get down the hall. I don't say anything I just look past her at the dark haired girl fleeing down the hall. "Seriously Spencer, you have to stop."

"Erin I don't have time for a lecture. I'll see you in class."

When I catch up to Ashley she's at her locker stuffing books into her book bag. When she pulls her hand out of the locker I slam it shut and lean my face in close to hers.

"What. The. Fuck?" She knows I'm referring to her face.

"Not now." She glares at me and turns to leave. "What the fuck are you staring at?" She yells at some guy. He must be dumb because he just points at his face. "Stupid."

Ashley pushes past him and I follow her all the way to a school exit.

"Where are you going?"

"Spencer…" She huffs and turns around to look at me. I wince when I see her face. "Yesterday you acted as if you didn't give two shits about me…" She holds up her hand when I open my mouth to speak. "You did. Hell you have been for weeks now. And I'm trying to understand that…but I'm tired. Last night wasn't a good night for me." She points to her face. "And I got no sleep, so excuse me if I come off rude. But leave me the hell alone." Pause. "Please."

"Fine." I huff and cross my arms over my chest.

"Don't do that." She sighs.

"Do what?" I ask while glancing behind me to make sure we are still alone.

"Act like…you know what…forget it." She turns around and pushes through the exit door.

"Shit." I curse under my breath and follow her out of the school. Without a word I walk past her and toward the student parking lot. "Come on." I roll my eyes and she follows me to my car.

We get in the car without a word. Before I pull out of my parking spot, I text Erin and let her know I left.

"Texting your girlfriend?" I ignore her comment and keep on driving. "Where's your parents?"

"Out." Ashley just stares at me. "Don't worry about it."

We go up to my room and I watch as she drops her book bag and kick off her shoes before doing a face planet onto the middle of my bed.

"Come lay with me." She says before puts a pillow across her face.

"I don't think that's a good idea."

"Why?"

"Because I love you." She moves the pillow out of her face and props herself up on her elbows. "And you hurt me."

"Spen…"

"Get some rest. I'll wake you when we have to go."

"No…gosh. Stop fucking running." She gets out of the bed and grab my hand, yanking me forward. There is not space between us.

"I'm sorry." She whispers close to my ear. "I…I don't know what else to say." She kisses my ear. When we was…whatever we was she use to kiss me in the most random of places. But my ears was always her favorite.

"Yeah…your making me feel a lot better." Is my sarcastic reply as I push her away. "Don't kiss me."

"I forgot you have a girlfriend now." I just roll my eyes. She knows that nothing is going on with Erin and myself. Erins straight and I'm…caught up in her. She knows this.

"Shut up."

"I love you."

"Really…shut up." I whip a tear away. "I shouldn't have brought you here."

"Baby…" She steps closer. "Spencer…I know I fucked up and, and I don't know…my life is fucked up right now. But the only thing im certain is that I love you and I really really need you to forgive me."


	2. Chapter 2

Have you ever found your heart arguing with your head? Yea? Me too.

Ashley tends to rock the boat between my heart and my head. My heart is screaming you love her and my head is whispering that's true, but its okay not to be with her right now. It's not the right time.

I let Ashley sleep until it was time for school to end for the day. And now we are on our way to her house to drop her off.

"Thank you." Ashley says when I park the car in front of her house.

"Yea…" I watch as Ashley reaches for the door handle.

"Um…" She stops her movements and sighs while sitting back into the car seat. "I…I miss you."

"Ashley." I sigh and look out my driver window. We've been down this road before.

Ashley and I dated for almost a year until some things got between us and I decided we should break up…give each other space. That was one of the hardest decisions of my young life. My heart is still with her, but my mind is thinking of our future.

"I know." She shakes her head. "I know, I'm just…I don't know." I stay quiet while she sorts out her thoughts. Minutes goes by before, Ashley turns her body completely to look at me. "What are you doing on Friday?'

"I don't know. " I frown at her question. "I mean, I usually hang with Erin…" She rolls her eyes when I mention Erin's name. "Stop doing that."

"What?" She smiles innocently at me.

"You know nothing's going on between Erin and me." I say getting a little upset. "Even if it we're…"

"Don't." She cuts me off. "I know your free to see whoever…I don't need you to remind me," She sighs and leans her head back into the passenger window.

"Yeah…"

"Will you go to the movies with me Friday night?"

"I don't know…"

"Erin?"

"No." I roll my eyes. "Gosh…Ashley…we just talked about this…"

"Baby…I was just joking."

"I'm not your baby." I cross my arms over my chest, a clear sign that I'm uncomfortable with this conversation.

"I'm sorry Spencer." Ashley says softly. It gets me to look back at her. "Really…" She uncrosses my arms and takes my hands into hers. "I miss you. Come to the movies with me…please."

"Ok."

That was a couple of days ago and now I'm sitting in my kitchen with Erin. I decided now is a good time to tell her how Ashley asked me to go to the movies with her.

"You said yes?" I nod. "I'm disappointed Spencer." I open my mouth to speak but Erin continues before I can. "Did you guys sleep together when you skipped school?"

"No." I sigh. "It's not a big deal Erin. It's just the movies." I shrug.

"Spencer…"

"No." I put my pencil down and look across the table separating us. "I miss her." I whisper. "Erin I love her and it's not something I can just turn off."

"I know that." She sits up straighter in her chair.

"I know you don't like her," I start. "She's not fond of you either, but she tries because she knows you mean a lot to me. So please Erin, understand that Ashley's means a lot to me."

"I just don't want you to get hurt." I smile even though I feel like crying.

"Too late."

"Hi." I smile to myself when she gets into the car and kisses me on the cheek.

"What's up?"

"Don't you think it's kind of tacky to invite someone out and then call them to ask for a ride?"

"No…it's just you." She laughs and changes the radio station. "Plus it isn't like this is our first date or anything."

"This isn't a date."

"Really?"

"I'll pay for myself." The rest of the car ride to the theater is silent.

When we go to order our tickets Ashley pays for both. I try to argue but she refuses to listen and feeds me the "friends pay for friends sometime" line. But I do manage to get her to let me pay for my own refreshments.

"Your face looks better." I whisper to Ashley sometime during the boring part of the movie.

"Yea…it still feels like shit though." She chuckles.

"I had fun tonight." I tell her.

"You sure this isn't a date?" She steps closer. "Because you sure are saying all the right things."

"Right," I roll my eyes. "Keep dreaming kid." I laugh and push off of the car.

"Come here." She opens her arms. "It's just a hug Spencer. Damn." She says in frustration to my hesitation.

"Good night Ashley." She let me go and stares at me for a few seconds before trying to lean in and kiss me. I turn my face so the kiss lands on my cheek.

"Ash,"

"Ugh…this is soo fucking frustrating." She says and steps away. "Sorry."

"No you're not." I shake my head. "I have to go." I start to walk around to the drive side of the car.

"Really…Spencer, I'm Sorry. Don't be mad." She grabs the door to keep it from shutting. She moves her body between the car door and the car.

"I thought we were having a good night Ashley, than you had to go and do some stupid shit like that."

"I know." She sighs. "I'm sorry." She steps back and closes my door for me. I watch her walk back onto the side walk.

"Good night." I say after rolling down the passenger window.

"Yea…good night." She speaks softly.

I see the longing in her eyes and that's when I know that my head better come on a little stronger or my heart is going to win this battle. Whether that's a good or bad idea…I don't know.


	3. Chapter 3

AN: Happy you guys are liking this story. Thanks for reading and reviewing :)

Chapter 3

I hate how it's so easy for people to look in onto your situation and judge. They don't know the whole story. They just know what they think they see, what others tell them and sometimes what you tell them. But sometimes you even leave out the parts you wish not to share. Sometimes it's hard to put emotions into words. Sometime…sometimes it's hard to do what's logical because your head is constantly fighting with your heart.

Outsiders just don't understand.

"Would you stop making sad eyes at her? Gosh!"

Like Erin for example, she's my best friend but she can't truly understand what I'm going through. She can listen and give advice but she can't feel what I feel. How I feel about this situation.

"I hate how she has you eating out of her palm." She slams her locker shut. And I remove my eyes from the back of Ashley's head to glare at Erin. "She's a bitch. Look…she doesn't care about you the way she should."

"Erin…" I sigh. I'm getting tired of this lecture.

"No you look." She points over my shoulder. "She's talking to that bitch Amber."

I turn around to look where Erin is pointing and sure enough Ashley is leaning against her locker, with a smile on her face while she talks to Amber. Amber is…I don't even want to think about that right now.

"Come on…" Erin hip checks me.

Before I turn around to walk with Erin, I give Ashley one more glance. She catches my eyes this time, smiles and waves. I just shift my eyes to Amber and back to Ashley. She frowns and shakes her head.

"Whatever." I say out loud and walk away.

"I'm sorry."

Erin and I are at her house doing homework. School sucked ass big time today. Ashley never came to the class we share and I didn't see her anywhere on campus throughout the rest of the day so I just assume she left. I didn't want to talk to her, but I still like seeing her and knowing that she's okay and actually participating at school.

"Spence."

"I'm sorry, what?" I give my attention back to Erin. She has moved from her desk to sit next to my spread out body on her bed.

"Hey…" She runs her hands through my hair. "I'm sorry I was so insensitive today at school about the whole Ashley thing." She starts. I move to rest my head on her lap while she continues to talk. "I just…you're a great girl Spencer and you deserve a hell of a lot better. But still I should know that it's not that easy for you to just move on and I have to be more aware of your feelings."

"It's okay." I give a weak smile and sit up. "I'm tired so I think I'm just going to go."

Erin helps me pack my stuff and walks me to my car.

"Friend." She pulls me into a hug. "I love you."

"I love you too."

"If you want. I can be nicer to Ashley, I guess." She sighs.

"It's okay Erin." I sigh. "Look…its okay if you don't like her, but…just try not to talk down about her. You might not be able to understand it but she still means a lot to me. And I just need you to just…leave it alone. Okay?" I swear we have this same conversation every week. She really can't stand Ashley after we broke up.

"Okay."

I get home around five and sit down and watch TV, trying not to really think about everything that happened today. About an hour later Ashley texts me and ask to come over. It takes me ten minutes to reply back to her. I'm not sure if I want to see her right now…correction I'm not sure if it's a good time to see her right now. I always want to see her.

Again. Head fighting with heart.

Never the less my heart wins out and I hear Ashley greeting my mother downstairs before there is a knock on my bedroom door. I give her the okay to come in.

"Hey…" she smiles and sits on the end of my bed near my feet. I'm sitting up with my back against the headboard.

"What's up?" I give a weak smile.

"Well…I was thinking…" She leans back on to her elbows and look at me. "You. Me. Dinner on Friday?"

"Seriously?" She frowns.

"What?"

It's only been a couple of days since we went to the movies together. Which wasn't so bad, I actually enjoyed our time together…well until she tried to kiss me and I felt like my world was caving in.

"I…I don't know." I sigh and close my eyes. My eyes shot open when I feel Ashley warm palm against my bare legs. She uses two fingers and makes them walk up and down my leg. "I don't think I'm ready to try again with you." I say quietly, watching her fingers on my leg.

"Do you want to?" Her fingers never stop their movement.

"I don't know." I answer honestly.

"Okay." She stops her fingers and sits up. We sit in silence until I can't take it anymore.

"What were you talking about with Amber earlier?"

"Stuff." She shrugs. I get pissed.

"Stuff?" I repeat and shake my head. "Did you ask her to dinner too?" Ashley gives me a 'what the fuck' face.

"Spencer…don't."

"Don't what Ashley!" I throw one of my pillows at her. "You're a jerk!" I move my leg when she tries to grab it. "I can't believe this." I lower my voice. I don't want my parent to hear us arguing.

"All we talked about was school." Ashley says getting off the bed. "School stuff which equals a whole bunch of nothing. Okay?" She says walking to the other side of the bed and taking off her shoes. I watch as she takes off her shirt and leave on her wife beater. She opens her jeans, but don't take them off. I know she hates getting in bed with jeans on, but she knows I won't be comfortable if she takes them off.

She climbs into bed with me. We both are sitting on the comforter with our backs against the headboard.

"I'm still mad at you." I huff.

"I'm sure." Rolling her eyes as she says it.

"Is that Amber?" I ask when her phone goes off and she grabs it off the nightstand to look at her new message.

"No." She says with attitude. "It's my mom." She puts the phone close to my face.

"Move." I slap her hand away.

"Why?" she drops the phone into my lap. "Go ahead." She nods at the device in my lap. "You can look through my phone if you want."

"Stop." I push the phone into her chest.

"I will when you get off the bullshit." I roll my eyes.

"Bullshit?" I move around to where I can see her face clearly. "Fuck you. You cheated on me, Ashley."

"Spe…"

"And now you say you want to get back together but you have the nerve to still hang around the girl you cheated on me with and you want me to what?…Be okay with you smiling and talking to her…"

"I didn't sleep with her!" She raises her voice. "Fuck." She tosses her phone to the end of the bed when it goes off again.

"Whatever." I get off of the bed. "Can you get you stuff and leave, please?"

"I haven't had sex with anyone else." She follows me to me to my bedroom door. I open it and look down the hall and make sure my parents are nowhere near my door, before closing in and leaning against it.

"Sure you haven't." I roll my eyes and walk past her.

"Stop." She grabs my hand.

"I bet if you had a little more time, you would have slept with her." I still have the images of walking in on my girlfriend with her tongue down someone else's throat. "Your hands were seconds away from her ass."

"I wasn't going to sleep with her." She protests.

"It doesn't matter, Ashley." I cry. "You kissed someone else while we were together."

"I know." She whispers and pulls me into a hug. "I'm sooo sorry."

"I can't trust you anymore." I mumble into her shoulder. "You say it never happened before and it won't happen again, but…" I sniff. "I can't be sure of that."

"But I am." She kisses my hair. "I swear…I swear it will never happen again." She pulls my head from her shoulder so she can look me in the face. "I love you so much."

"This hurts."

"I'm so sorry, Spencer." Tears come down her face. "I don't even know why I did it." She shakes her head. "It had nothing to do with you. I was mad at my parents and…I was a bitch to you for no reason." She kisses my cheek. "I don't even like Amber…or anyone else. I was stupid."

"Yea…you were."

"Please…I need another chance."

"I don't like Amber." I tell her simply.

"Me either." She smiles and I can't help to turn my lip up.

"Stop…I'm being serious."

"Me too." I push her shoulder. "Okay."

"I don't want to jump back into a relationship with you." She starts to look sad. "But we can still date."

"Date?"

"Like we are not official but we both want it to get there. So we can do stuff together…until it leads to more."

"More meaning…you being mines again?"

"Yea." I smile when her face lights up. "No Amber though." I say serious again. "I know I might seem like a bitch for saying this but…if you're serious about us, I don't want you associating with her."

"That's understandable."

"And we need to talk more about all of this." She nods her head.

"Whatever you want."

"You hurt me Ashley and I can't go through that again." I sigh. "I love you but I love myself more, and I refuse to let you hurt me again."

"Never." She whispers.

"Okay."

TBC


	4. Chapter 4

AN: This chapter focuses really on the characters before the break up. It's more about how the break up happened and all that good jazz. I really want to thank you guys for reviewing and reading this story. It encourages me to write chapters faster. I don't know where I'm going with this story but hopefully we can figure that out together. Thank you guys!

Chapter 4

I wonder if it's different the second time around for everyone. I mean for people who decide that their previous relationship is worth giving another try.

From what I'm experiencing right now, things are different. There the same but different. I don't want to, but sometimes I find myself questioning whether to believe Ashley or not when she tells me she can't hangout because of something with her parents. I sometimes I feel bad about not fully trusting her anymore. But then again I remember I gave her my heart and she sold it for a make out session with some girl. That's another thing, the whole Amber situation.

Ashley hasn't been talking to her. I've seen Amber approaches her but Ashley brushes her off and continue down the hall or walks over to me. I can tell Amber knows Ashley and I are no longer fighting. But I still wish Ashley and I was out about are relationship, because that way I can really tell Amber and any other girl or boy who's hitting on Ashley to fuck off. But we're not. So I can't. My parents would probably shit their pants is they find out I'm gay.

Ashley and I meet our freshman year. Erin, my best friend since 6th grade, and I was having lunch when Ashley came and sat down with us. Erin being a social butterfly start to talk to her and next thing you know we all became really good friends and started hanging out. It wasn't just the three of us. Ashley introduced us to some of her friends and we introduced her to some of ours.

Sometime during all that hanging out with our friends, Ashley and I started to hang out alone more. I started to notice things about her more and admire her more. We kissed three months before we got together. Ashley was over my house watching a movie with Erin and me. Erin's dad called and said he needed her home. Next thing you know we're playing around and Ashley kissed me. She completely freaked out and left. She later own explained that she thought I was going to freak out and tell everyone. We started to go on little dates and kiss more. I asked her to be my girlfriend.

Everything we did was kind of sneaky. The only person that knew about us was Erin because she walked in on us one time. We were at my house and I had forgotten she said she was coming over. And like usual Erin just walked right into my room. She stood in shock at what she walked in on… her best friend kissing another one of her friends that happens to be female as well. But then she told us it was okay. I loved that she didn't freak out because now I have someone else to talk to about my relationship and all these feelings.

The hardest part about keeping something like this a secret is not being about to tell anyone how special it is. The feeling of hiding the best part of your day… a special part of you…

Before Erin knew, the only person I could talk to was Ashley. I had no one to turn to when Ashley and I were having an argument or I if I just want to rant about my relationship and how much I love Ashley. But then it was like a little of the weight on my shoulders was lifted. I could express myself…even if it was just a little. I have one person that I don't have to hide my true self around. And just that one person counts for a lot.

Ashley was my first experience with a girl and I am hers. Ashley is my first love. It hurts when your first love breaks your heart.

_I remember the day we broke up like it was yesterday. We had been arguing for the past two days. Ashley father is abusive. He had been drinking and hitting on her a lot at the time. I had begged her to just go stay with her aunt for awhile. Her aunt Jessica was so nice. She would let Ashley come over whenever. But Ashley refused to leave her dad. She always says he needs someone there with him so he doesn't do something crazy. Like hitting her wasn't crazy at all. Anyway…we argued about it the night before I found her cheating on me at a party a mutual friend through. I didn't even know Ashley was at the party because we hadn't talked all day and I was still mad at her. I remember walking into the restroom and seeing hands running up and down someone's back. I instantly knew who hands they were because Ashley wears on her middle finger a gold ring with an A on it that her mom gave her. I slammed the door and they broke the kiss. When Ashley moved her head to see who slammed the door her face went pale when she saw it was me. _

"_Spenc…" I didn't even let her finish the sentence before I was running down the stairs and out the front door. By the time I got to my car I was crying freely. Ashley caught up to me just as I was climbing into my car. _

"_Go away." I said when she tried to open the passenger door. I gave her the middle finger and started my car and left. My phone started to go off with phone calls and text messages. I quickly texted Erin and told her I had left and to make sure she stayed close to Tasha, another close friend. I was mad but I was also concerned about my friend's safety. You always should have at least one buddy when you attend parties, so you can watch over each other._

_When I got to my house I turned off my phone and put it in the glove compartment in my car before going in the house. I didn't even want to even look at it. _

_Ten minutes later Ashley was at my house. My mom let her in. My mom at the time was use to Ashley and Erin always coming over so she thought nothing of it._

"_Let me explain…" Ashley said as soon as she walked into my room._

"_Explain?" I sit up in my bed. "You…how do you explain that Ashley?" I said through tears._

"_Spencer…it just…it was a mistake."_

"_How long have you been cheating on me?" I stand up from the bed when Ashley walks closer._

"_I haven't!" She yells. I give her a look. "Sorry..." She apologizes for raising her voice. "It was just a kiss and it shouldn't have happened."_

"_I don't want to be with you anymore." I looked her in the eyes and said. "I can't believe you…" I push her away when she tries to grab me._

"_Please…baby I'm sooo sorry." She keeps trying to touch any part of me she can. _

"_No." I try to push her away when she gets a hold to my hand but she just pushes me onto the bed and pins my wrist to the bed. _

"_Don't break up with me." She whispers into my ear. I can feel her tears when her cheek touches mines._

"_Ashley…" I close my eyes when she kisses my ear and then my lips. _

"_Please…" She says against my mouth. _

_When I don't say anything Ashley let goes of my wrist and slides off of me. She snuggles up into my side and buries her face into my neck. Ashley apologies over and over again until I stop her with my words._

"_Go." I choke out. "Please leave…" I turn my head to face her. "Give me this please…just leave."_

_She stares at me for two minutes before quietly getting up and leaving. The next day when I get my phone I have a couple of missed text and calls from Erin and a mail box full of voice mails from Ashley. She called me over 20 times and texted me over 30. I deleted everything without reading or listening to them. I sent her one text message that day and it simply said: __**I hope it was worth it. We're done.**_

_Of course she didn't give up trying to get me back. For weeks all she tried to do was talk to me. And sometimes I gave in and talked to her. But just long enough to tell her to leave me alone. I got my number changed and that was it. _

Today marks the third month we have been broken up.

"Hey," I look up when Ashley puts her try down onto the lunch table. The other people at the table say hi to Ashley. Erin on the other hand just glares at her.

"Stop." I pat Erin's arm and smile at Ashley. Erin just frowns at me and goes back to talking to Tasha.

Lunch becomes kind of awkward, at least for me. Ashley stopped sitting at our table way before we broke up, but now that we are trying to be…friends, I guess, she thought it would be good for us to have lunch together.

"Sooo…" Ashley slides up next to me at my locker after lunch. "That's was…awkward." She grins.

"Yeah," I agree and take some books out of my locker. "You don't have to have lunch with me. I mean you didn't before, so it's okay."

"Well before I wasn't in middle of trying to get back with you." She whispers close to my eye. "I want you. Only you." Then she backs up and smiles. "See you later?" I just nod and watch her walk away.

"Are you sure about this?" Erin voice comes out of nowhere.

"No." I answer honestly. "But I have to try." I sigh and close my locker.

"Okay than." She grabs my arm and we walk off to our next class.

Maybe different is good. Maybe different means she'll actually appreciate me and our relationship more.

TBC


End file.
